Gas Laws

So, I'm doing my chemistry homework, and I couldn't help but notice something. You see, I've just written out three pages of gas laws and their explainations, and when I got to Kinetic Molecular Theory, I noticed that it sounded like it'd be said by a dramatic voice-over at the start of a conspiracy movie while blurred footage of a crowded city appeared on a screen.
1. All particles are in continuous, random motion.
2. The volume of individual particles is zero.
3. Collisions of particles with container walls cause pressure exerted by gas.
4. Particles exert no forces on each other.Average kinetic energy is directly proportional to the temperature of a gas.

Insert here, laboratory building and people in lab coats, Badass Villian Dude in a suit and patent leather shoes walking purposefully down a blueish corridor while people walk to and from rooms, carefully avoiding him, his assistant follows him with a clip board.
Badass Villian Dude enters office, while assistant pours drinks. Mr Other Faceless Villian sits opposite him and takes a drink.
"How much do you want for it?" asks Mr Other Faceless Villian.
"You see, Mr Other Faceless Villian, the formula is not for sale. I'm terribly sorry, but you've come all this way for nothing," replies Bald Man, voice dripping with sexy badassedness.
"Badass Villian Dude, you're making a huge mistake, I've got some powerful friends," Mr Other Faceless Villian begins to lose his temper. Close-up on his sweating forehead.
"Well, Mr Other Faceless Villian, let's see your friends save you now,"
"Excuse me, Badass Villian Dude?"
Close-up on calm-but-evil eyes of Badass Villian Dude, cut to close-up of panicked eyes of Mr Other Faceless Villian, close-up of Mr Faceless Other Villian's hands gripping the arms of his chair, then of him swallowing nervously. He looks at his drink, and, realising he's been poisoned, begins choking and sputtering, grasping his throat. He falls out of his chair and on to the floor, dead.
Badass Villian Dude presses a button under his desk, Faceless Henchmen One and Two come in and drag out the body of Mr Other Faceless Villian. Badass Villian Dude, unfazed, stands up and goes to the large window and stares down at the city. Cut to black, title appears:
Lone Badass Kicks The Ass Of An Evil Organisation 2: Return of the Revenge, With Avengance!!!