My mum and my grandma are terrible at telling jokes.
Grandma: *tells 12-inch-pianist joke*
Grandma: *stuffs up 12-inch-pianist joke*
Me: That's fantastic, except you told it wrong.
Grandma: No I didn't.
Me: Well, what's supposed to happen is *tells 12-inch-pianst joke correctly*
Grandma: Alright fine.
Me: Seriously, how do you stuff up the 12-inch-pianist joke? It takes skill to stuff up the 12-inch-pianist joke.
Mum: Right, so there's this bloke who goes into this pub and he's got an ENORMOUS PENIS.
Me: *laughs tea through nose*
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Seriously?
I had a diabetes clinic last Thursday. Nothing serious, just went in, talked to the 'educator' (in inverted commas because i'm not entirely sure what she does) and looked at results of various tests.
Anyway.
There was a flyer that caught my attention, mainly because it was front-and-centre on a bench that i was leaning on in order to talk to the receptionist.
Are you aged 13-16?
Would you like to meet other young people with type 1 diabetes?
Well, meet at (insert place here) on Saturday, from 1-3 pm.
Now, call me a traditionalist, but I just don't think that an ailment is an appropriate way to meet new friends.
Anyway.
There was a flyer that caught my attention, mainly because it was front-and-centre on a bench that i was leaning on in order to talk to the receptionist.
Are you aged 13-16?
Would you like to meet other young people with type 1 diabetes?
Well, meet at (insert place here) on Saturday, from 1-3 pm.
Now, call me a traditionalist, but I just don't think that an ailment is an appropriate way to meet new friends.
YouTube
My youtube life is full of random achievements.
The first was when someone I DIDN'T know subscribed to me.
The second was the first time I was put on the charts of popularity (coming in at the sixty-somethingth most viewed Australian Comedian).
Then I got recognised by a random at school.
The next was actually meeting people over YouTube.
And now, my latest video.
It's got 66 views since yesterday, making it more viewed than 5 of my older videos, which have had time on their side.
I didn't realise that Vlogs could be so popular, but it's gotten me to the place of 25th most viewed Australian comedian today.
I only made it to relieve the one-week video drought, but it's actually a bit popular (by the standards of my videos).
I should vlog more often.
The first was when someone I DIDN'T know subscribed to me.
The second was the first time I was put on the charts of popularity (coming in at the sixty-somethingth most viewed Australian Comedian).
Then I got recognised by a random at school.
The next was actually meeting people over YouTube.
And now, my latest video.
It's got 66 views since yesterday, making it more viewed than 5 of my older videos, which have had time on their side.
I didn't realise that Vlogs could be so popular, but it's gotten me to the place of 25th most viewed Australian comedian today.
I only made it to relieve the one-week video drought, but it's actually a bit popular (by the standards of my videos).
I should vlog more often.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
new magical glasses? WHAT?
I need new glasses. But I love my current glasses.
And I can't just get the new lenses put into my current frames, because I need to keep the frames for a hugely complex reason.
But as much as I love glasses, I'm not much in to shopping for them.
Why? Because my interpretation of what should go on my face seems completely different to what everyone else thinks should go on my face, and this was proven when Lyndal tried to do my makeup once, she'll not be trying that again. THEY WILL NOT MAKE ME OVER!
Anyway. Last time, I had the idea in my head that I wanted red, rectangular-framed glasses, but I also thought that electric green would be cool as well, and this is what I told my mum. And if anyone knows how fickle I am and that you should take what I say seriously but not too seriously, especially when it comes to me making a decision, then they will have a pretty clear idea about the conversations that followed. I absolutely fell in love with the frames I have, but mum insisted that we shop around, so we did, and we ended up back where we started, the frames I have now.
My dad is constantly trying to convert me to titanium, because the frames they make are light and fine and from a distance you can barely see them. This, however, is not my idea about glasses. My idea is chunky plastic that can be seen a mile off. This does not stop his case, and he doesn't seem to understand that I love wearing glasses, I really do, they don't bother me in any way, and in fact, they're the most fantastic thing I own (that can be worn). Anyway...
So, we're looking around for glasses in the city today, but found nothing, here's what was going on in my mind as I tried on each pair of frames:
No
No
These make me look like mum
These make me look like grandma
These make me look like Velma from Scooby-Doo
These are stupid
These have unnecessary bling
These are pretty good...oh, wait...they're prada...ugh...
These make me look like a pedophile
These are Dad's
I'm fairly sure these are Grandad's
These are just plain awful
These are too geeky
These aren't geeky enough
I've said 'no' to far too many to even consider these
So then we went to Carindale, because my dad's favourite optometrist is there (yeah, weird, shut up) but it turns out they've moved somewhere else that we don't know where is.
But guess how may optometrists there are in Carindale. FIVE. But guess how many were open today. TWO.
One held glasses the likes of Harry Potter and old people, and the other had TOO MANY FANTASTIC FRAMES. Seriously. My "maybe" pile was huge.
Anyway, I went for some black-and-green Converse frames that are just fantastic (and were at a 25% discount, score).
So, apparrently I'll have them in 6-10 days, and until then, I'll be using my old ones, making the most of the time we have left together...*cries quietly*
And I can't just get the new lenses put into my current frames, because I need to keep the frames for a hugely complex reason.
But as much as I love glasses, I'm not much in to shopping for them.
Why? Because my interpretation of what should go on my face seems completely different to what everyone else thinks should go on my face, and this was proven when Lyndal tried to do my makeup once, she'll not be trying that again. THEY WILL NOT MAKE ME OVER!
Anyway. Last time, I had the idea in my head that I wanted red, rectangular-framed glasses, but I also thought that electric green would be cool as well, and this is what I told my mum. And if anyone knows how fickle I am and that you should take what I say seriously but not too seriously, especially when it comes to me making a decision, then they will have a pretty clear idea about the conversations that followed. I absolutely fell in love with the frames I have, but mum insisted that we shop around, so we did, and we ended up back where we started, the frames I have now.
My dad is constantly trying to convert me to titanium, because the frames they make are light and fine and from a distance you can barely see them. This, however, is not my idea about glasses. My idea is chunky plastic that can be seen a mile off. This does not stop his case, and he doesn't seem to understand that I love wearing glasses, I really do, they don't bother me in any way, and in fact, they're the most fantastic thing I own (that can be worn). Anyway...
So, we're looking around for glasses in the city today, but found nothing, here's what was going on in my mind as I tried on each pair of frames:
No
No
These make me look like mum
These make me look like grandma
These make me look like Velma from Scooby-Doo
These are stupid
These have unnecessary bling
These are pretty good...oh, wait...they're prada...ugh...
These make me look like a pedophile
These are Dad's
I'm fairly sure these are Grandad's
These are just plain awful
These are too geeky
These aren't geeky enough
I've said 'no' to far too many to even consider these
So then we went to Carindale, because my dad's favourite optometrist is there (yeah, weird, shut up) but it turns out they've moved somewhere else that we don't know where is.
But guess how may optometrists there are in Carindale. FIVE. But guess how many were open today. TWO.
One held glasses the likes of Harry Potter and old people, and the other had TOO MANY FANTASTIC FRAMES. Seriously. My "maybe" pile was huge.
Anyway, I went for some black-and-green Converse frames that are just fantastic (and were at a 25% discount, score).
So, apparrently I'll have them in 6-10 days, and until then, I'll be using my old ones, making the most of the time we have left together...*cries quietly*
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Princess Ball
ZOMG!
The Short Stack (Australian Indie band) concert, aka Princess Ball, was AWESOME.
As far as imprompteu crimps go, the one between me and Shaun Diviney was pretty awesome (if you're not a fan of Short Stack or the Mighty Boosh, none of that will make sense to you).
So yeah.
It was fantastic.
I wonder how many "Shimmy a Go Go" jokes I can make
well, two
There was a Go Go, and it was Shimmied
I'll Shimmy your Go Go anyday ;D
The Short Stack (Australian Indie band) concert, aka Princess Ball, was AWESOME.
As far as imprompteu crimps go, the one between me and Shaun Diviney was pretty awesome (if you're not a fan of Short Stack or the Mighty Boosh, none of that will make sense to you).
So yeah.
It was fantastic.
I wonder how many "Shimmy a Go Go" jokes I can make
well, two
There was a Go Go, and it was Shimmied
I'll Shimmy your Go Go anyday ;D
Monday, March 16, 2009
hmm...
I'm definately my father's daughter. And I'm not talking the obvious reasons, I'm talking something slightly...unnerving.
I opened the fridge to find two bottles of milk. One that was full and one that at first glance appeared empty. Upon closer inspection, the empty one was in fact, not empty, but had a layer of milk measuring at less than one centimetre on the bottom of the two-litre bottle. Not enough for a decent coffee, maybe enough for a not-very-milky cup of tea, and forget about milo.
But, the strangest thing about this situation is not that my father put this stupid, ridiculous, useless amount of milk BACK IN THE FRIDGE.
No, that wasn't the most unnerving thing.
The most unnerving thing is that I do that too.
I opened the fridge to find two bottles of milk. One that was full and one that at first glance appeared empty. Upon closer inspection, the empty one was in fact, not empty, but had a layer of milk measuring at less than one centimetre on the bottom of the two-litre bottle. Not enough for a decent coffee, maybe enough for a not-very-milky cup of tea, and forget about milo.
But, the strangest thing about this situation is not that my father put this stupid, ridiculous, useless amount of milk BACK IN THE FRIDGE.
No, that wasn't the most unnerving thing.
The most unnerving thing is that I do that too.
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