of squids and beards

I've recently realised exactly why I love my friends so much.
The reason requires a preamble, so here it is.
As a girl, I lack the ability to grow a beard. I don't particularly want to grow a beard, because I've always thought that blond beards are a bit odd. But the thing is, I would like a beard that I could grow when I need something to stroke while thinking, when I was finished stroking the beard, it would recede back into my face...sunday lunch continues.
Now, upon talking to Ziggy, we concluded that a Davey Jones-style squidbeard would be awesome, because it would stroke itself, leaving your hands free to do other stuff, like crab claws. The end result would look something like this.

And that's the reason my friends are my friends. Not just because they're nice people, because we have similar taste in music or television, not just because we get along pretty freaking well. My friends are my friends because they have the attention span and patience to put up with the ramblings of a girl who wants to grow a squid out of her face.