Chemistry

Today, I failed the chemistry exam. Failed with flying colours.
I failed because I didn't study. I didn't study because I didn't feel I needed to.
I didn't feel I needed to because a) year 11 doesn't count toward the OP and b) I'm not doing chem next year.
Now, one of the questions, I answered with a ramble about goblins and goblin book-club.
My mother and I were discussing this and she was most worried that this meant she'd have to talk to the teacher about it. Nice to know she's got her priorities in about the same order as me. But she figured she could test Mr Singh somehow. For example, wear a hat with a frog on it, and hide a button in her pocket that would make the frog croak whenever she saw fit.
Or bring in a small furry animal, for example a mole, beaver, cat or booby all for the same reason. ("Stop staring at my mole/beaver/pussy/boob").
And yes, there is a little too much chlorine in the old gene pool.